One of the things we don't think about often enough is how the Gospel frees us to be. . . . wrong. It shouldn't be a goal, of course. . . "be as wrong as possible." But, it is also unrealistic and hurtful if we don't ASSUME that we WILL be wrong regularly. Because. . . . we will. From heinous sins, to personal offenses, we will be wrong, regularly. Our default setting should be apology, repentance, and humility. Christians should not strive to be right all of the time. Christians should not be hurt when they don't see something that is pointed out in their life by a friend. Christians shouldn't fight for every last nuance in an argument to be heard. We are free. . .by Christ's sacrifice. . . to be wrong.
I struggle with defensiveness, and maybe you do to. Here's a great piece from Gavin Ortlund on the difference between repentance and defensiveness.
(p.s. this is also why it's important for churches to value justice in community. People shouldn't have to stand up for themselves. . .because, if they are unfairly accused of something. . others should stand up for them. We need to be people of justice who don't let gossip, complaining, rigidity, and gracelessness abound in our churches. Stand up for a brother or sister, when appropriate, and let Grace spread in our communities.)